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Facts About Men that Women should Adhere too!

• If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.
  
  
• Woman don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
  
  
• The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.
  
  
• Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.
  
  
• A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
  
  
• If you want a nice man go for a bald one - they try harder.
  
  
• Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
  
  
• A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.
  
  
• Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
  
  
• Definition of a man with manners - he gets out of the bath to pee.
  
  
• Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is married.
  
  
• Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men - a woman.
  
  
• There are a lot of words you can use to describe men - strong, caring, loving - they'd be wrong but you could still use them.
  
  
• Men are like animals, messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.
  
  
• Men's brains are like the prison system - not enough cells per man.
  
  
• There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop".
  
  
• Husbands are like children. They're fine if they're someone else's.
  
  

If Men Were In Charge Of Weddings

• There would be less "Oh Promise Me" and "Endless Love" and more "Louie, Louie" and "Mony Mony."
  
  
• There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" Party.
  
  
• The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
  
  
• There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
  
  
• Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear, The Burgandy or the Wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
  
  
• Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.
  
  
• Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
  
  
• The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her ass.
  
  
• Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors..
  
  
• June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.
  
  
• Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
  
  
• Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
  
  
• Big slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".
  
  
• Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.
  
  
• Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
  
  
• Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really do add up.
  
  
• Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.
  
  
• No one would bother with that "Veil Routine". But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
  
  
• The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding (what's the difference) or something.
  
  
• Invitations would read as follow... Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain... He's getting married. He either: A)knocked her up
  B)couldn't get a different roommate or
  C)caved in to her ultimatum..
  
  
• Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him for the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium on the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game for beer, nachos and pizza. Oh yeah... B.Y.O.B..

Do Men really have Hearing problems?

A woman, completely fed up with her husband's on-line obsession, (he was hooked on our website for hours on end), finally takes matters into her own hands.

One night, as he is sitting at the computer, she goes into the bedroom, takes off all her clothes, puts on a full length mink coat, and posts herself between her husband and the monitor. She pulls open the coat and yells, "Time for Super Sex!!!"

He ignores her. (surprise surprise)

So, she repeatedly yells, "Super Sex, Super Sex, Super Sex!"

Finally, he replies, "Ok, ok, I'll take the soup."

Guys and Girls Personality Clash Observations

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